Do You Struggle to have the Attitude of a Yes Person?

Are you finding it hard to say yes? Before anyone can complete a question…is the little yet powerful two-letter word “no” already on the tip of your tongue?  More often than not, do you hear yourself saying no?  Why?  What’s behind the instant “no” that’s keeping you from being a “yes” person?

YES is a Powerful and Important Word

My pastor is currently teaching a series on the 7 most powerful words, and you guessed it…YES is one of them.  Some of the most important questions you will answer in life need a yes:

  • Will you make wise decisions? 
  • Will you stick to your priorities?
  • Will you accept Christ as your Savior?
  • Will you use your life to serve God and love people?
  • Will you spend your life growing in the grace and knowledge of God?
  • Will you honor your commitments?

I felt totally conviction when I realized my go to word is “no”.  It doesn’t matter what is being asked or by whom…I just gravitate toward “no”.  It was time to ask myself why?  Why do I carry a “no” in my heart?

I may change my mind after considering what is being asked, but it is the attitude of “no” that concerns me.

Differences Between the Attitude a Yes and No Person

Speaking from experience, being a “no” person is no fun.  Here are a few side by side comparisons:

Yes Person           No Person

  Open Minded                           Close Minded

  Positive Stance                        Negative Stance

  Glass 1/2 Full                           Glass 1/2 Empty

  Joyful                                         Grumpy

  Approachable                          Unapproachable

  Flexible                                      Rigid

 Content                                      Complainer


Honestly…I’m Acting Like a Grumpy No Person 🙁 

After looking at the list above…the YES person sounds like a much better life attitude.  But why then do I identify more with the NO person?  Here are a few of my reasons, can you identify with any of these?

  1. Life is overwhelming and there is too much on my plate.  The thought of one more item makes “no” my go-to, self-protective place.
  2. No makes me feel in control of something…at least my answer.  That’s about all I have control over anyway (LOL).
  3. I have a overly packed calendar to keep and my perfectionistic personality is threatened by changes that will detour me from all things I said yes to.
  4. I have goals and plans that I don’t feel others honor…so my “no” keeps them in check so I won’t get distracted or off track (wow, was that too honest!!).

In a nutshell, my “no” stance makes me feel in control of life at a time when life feels out-of-control.  However, it is foolishness!  I am no more in control than before I said “no”.  The one difference is in my attitude.  And my attitude stinks!

“You cannot live on a diet of no.  We were made for yes.”  John Ortberg

There Are Times to Say NO

Absolutely there are times to say no.  It is an appropriate response to many situations. Taking time to seek God and review priorities is wise.  Saying no isn’t a bad response.  Having boundaries is smart and no one can say yes to everything.

It is the attitude of being closed minded, grumpy and inflexible that is the difference between a yes and no person not necessarily the answer yes or no.

It’s Not About the Answer Yes or No…It’s the Attitude of the Heart

Today I want to change!  I want to have the joyful attitude of a YES person.  Renewing my mind and attitude is the first step.  Remembering that God said YES to me first by giving me new life in Christ and then, accepting me just as I am, sin and all.  In life, I will need to say no to many things, but I don’t need to carry an attitude of no.  God chose me (and you too!) and we can choose our attitude.

“Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God’s likeness- righteous, holy and true.” Ephesians 4:23-24

Question:  What attitude do you carry in your heart…a yes or no attitude?  Remember it’s not about that answer yes or no, but the attitude.  

Sincerely with Hugs,



For more on making decisions see Struggling to Walk Through Open Doors and Living with the Regret of a Closed Door.

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