Do You Have a Secret that You’ve Never Told Anyone?
Maybe a past sin or a mistake that you never wanted anyone to know about. Maybe a current stronghold that feels too shameful to admit. Whatever it is, it has stayed tucked away within the recesses of your heart and mind. In that place, your secret feels safe and secure as if it were under lock and key.
I have a secret like that too. One I never planned to share with anyone, but what I didn’t realize was the damage it was causing my life. I have learned that some secrets are not worth keeping and that by letting them out it will release the hold they have on our life.
Let’s Begin by Defining What a Secret Is
A secret is information that a person is keeping hidden or something unknown or unseen to others. It might be known only to the individual or a very small group of people. Some secrets are good and should be kept…like keeping a surprise birthday party a surprise. Other times secrets can hurt us especially when the secret is buried in guilt or the fear that exposure will result in rejection or others not accepting us.
Christians are susceptible to keeping secrets of past or current sins, mistakes or character flaws because the appearance of not being a “good” Christian can become a stronghold. The thought of being harshly judged by others is enough to keep the secret in a deep, dark place. That is the work of the enemy…to shame us into believing our secret is the “worst” and therefore, if God, our family or our friends knew they could never love us.
Keeping Secrets Causes More Harm than Good
For years I was oblivious to the damage my secret was causing my life. I buried it deep within my heart…so deep that at times I actually forgot about it. However, my forgetfulness didn’t negate the undermining impact it had on my life. Since my secret was about a very painful decision I made it caused me to believe lies about myself. Lies that sabotaged my ability to make good decisions and to trust myself. Quickly I went from being a confident person to being an insecure person who was afraid to make decisions.
Secrets Cost Closeness in Relationships
My secret has cost me closeness and connectedness in relationships. Not because I needed to tell everyone my secret, because that would be careless and unwise. But because the secret had built a wall of protection around my heart. The wall was constructed to keep others from truly knowing me. I believed that if they knew the real me, they wouldn’t want to be my friend. The price of keeping my secret meant distant relationships and I feared being my authentic self.
Secrets Keep Us from Accepting God’s Love and Forgiveness
My secret was gut wrenchingly shameful to me. Though logically I understood that God’s love and forgiveness covered me, in my heart I felt my mistake was too big, and I didn’t believe what the Bible said, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). The pain of my secret was keeping me from the only One who could offer forgiveness, restoration and healing. My broken thoughts reasoned that if I could just hide this part of my life from God then He would love and accept me.
Can We Keep Secrets from God?
We fool ourselves when we believe we can keep a secret from God. God knows everything and nothing is hidden from Him. The Bible says:
“O Lord you have examined my heart and you know everything about me” (Psalm 139:1) and “God would surely have known it, for He knows the secrets of every heart” (Psalm 44:21)
The truth is that God knows us completely, thoroughly and intimately. Jesus died with full knowledge of all our sins, mistakes and shortcomings. His sacrifice for our sins was purely motivated by love (John 3:16) and it had nothing to do with our behavior, good or bad. Since God already knows everything we only deceive ourselves if we try to hide something from Him.
Have the Courage to Tell Someone Your Secret
It takes guts to reveal a deep and well-kept secret.
- It’s risky.
- It’s bold.
- It’s brave.
To release the power a secret has over your life telling someone is critical. Please be wise and strategic with whom you share your heart. The Bible warns us, “Don’t give pearls to swine” (Matthew 7:6). Your heart is precious and it should be shared with someone who will encourage and uplift you…not tear you down. Of course, confiding in God first is the best place to start. Even pray and ask Him whom can you trust. There is healing when we are truthful about our secrets and the person we confide in responds with love and acceptance.
It Was Scary but I Finally Shared My Secret
I began the journey of sharing my secret with my therapist. She was safe and I trusted her. Also, I regularly brought it before God in prayer and I still do! I opened up to my best friend, and so much healing is occurring! Now I can see the underlying grip the secret had on my life. God is calling me to share my secret with you. It is very scary for me but I want to obey Him. I know that my story will help others not feel alone and hopefully have the courage to openly talk about their past sins. Look for my secret coming in the a future post.
Some secrets are ok to keep, but secrets that hurt us by keeping us from experiencing connection and authentic relationships need to be exposed in a safe place.
This is fundamental to the Chickening IN life…facing what we fear so we can experience the life God wants us to have.
If you are harboring a secret that is causing you harm, I’d like to invite you to consider reaching out to a therapist, a pastor or a trusted friend. If you feel like you don’t have a safe person in your life, I’d like to invite you to email me for prayer. I would be honored to pray alongside you in asking God to bring a trusted person into your life and that you would have the courage to boldly and bravely share your secret so you can experience freedom from its harmful effects on your life.
There is no shame or condemnation in Christ. He fully knows you and He fully loves you!
JJ @ Chickening IN