I quit! Not just any job, but my 12-year, six figure income career. A career that included all the perks: company car, business travel, 401K, stocks and benefits. Crazy and reckless…maybe. However, it was a decision I felt deep conviction about.
I was lacking purpose and meaning in my life. Do you know that feeling? Getting up, going to work, taking care of the family, the pets, the household and more. Trying to accomplish this so called work-life balance with far too much on your plate. It seemed that days blurred into weeks and weeks blurred into months. Depression, anxiety and moodiness took hold, while joy, excitement and contentment declined. Asking myself some serious questions, I started on a mission to find a meaningful life.
A complicated journey, that is exactly what this has been. Most people who quit, get laid off or get fired do so because employment ends due to performance or the person has found another job first. Not so with me. Employed by a reputable corporation, I was treated well. With every company reorganization/down sizing I was asked to stay and even promote. I worked my way to the top of the profession and was successful. For several years I enjoyed my job and felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I embodied skills and talents that contributed to my success. Parts of my job offered some fulfillment.
Gripped with fear and anxiety, I spent years trying to find my purpose and passion. Very confused, I had to ask myself some hard questions. If I am good at what I do and I am treated well…why am I so unhappy? Is it possible to be good at something that isn’t your passion? At one time I was satisfied with my work. Has my job changed or have I changed? Maybe a little of both but regardless my heart is longing for something different.
Admiration, that is what I have for women who live out their passion. Ladies who have known from a very young age exactly what they were meant to do. They seem to have a self-awareness or internal insight that is a mystery to me. There are others who have taken a traumatic past experience and turned it into a mission to do good…who have made their life’s work about making a difference. These women’s lives represent the true meaning of Chickening IN! The place where life’s work and passion intersect.
Searching for that place where life’s work and passion intersect, I felt trapped. My husband and I were accustomed to living a 2 income lifestyle. Not rich but certainly comfortable. No stress about bills. Plenty of money to pay them with leftovers for careless spending at my favorite stores: Nordstrom and Target. A nice house, nice cars, a boat, vacations, private school for the kids….how in the world can we maintain our lifestyle in pursuit of a meaningful life?
There are many layers to my story. Far too many to include now but will be addressed in future blogs. Some topics include work-life balance, too much on my plate, super hero mom doesn’t exist, perfectionism will drive you crazy, my anxiety becomes my child’s anxiety and plenty more.
Today I quit! I stepped out of my comfort zone and took a leap of faith. Into unknown territory I walked away from a good job in search of more. More life, more adventure, more meaning. Today I am beginning to live a new life. To live courageously, facing my fears, seeking my best life, my best work. Seeking the specific purpose God has given me. Today I am Chickening IN!
Have you faced these same questions?:
If you are facing a crossroads situation like me, consider the quotes below.
Come along and walk this road with me. I don’t know what lies ahead. Maybe, I will regret quitting my job. Time will tell. Deep down I am compelled to Chicken IN and find out!